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How to fake clean your home

by Joanne Tracey, Jul 2016

Having a weekly cleaner can make life so much easier – the joy of coming home from work knowing that you WON’T be cleaning the bathrooms, or tackling that mound of ironing. At Well Polished, we can help you keep on top of the weekly chores and give you back your free time. However, we all know that even in a couple of days, things can pile up on a busy week and your once clean house can look like a bombsite. And then you hear the dreaded words… ‘Oh, so and so is just going to pop round’. Yes, the terror of the last minute guest. They’ll be over in 10 minutes and you have no chance of tidying the whole house in that time frame. This where the ‘fake clean’ comes in… time to initiate these clever little tips to make your house go from ‘warzone’ to ‘welcoming’.

1.HIDE. CONCEAL. DISGUISE. Collect all the obvious debris and get it out of sight. We’re talking toys, shoes, clothes etc… all these things that can be bundled up and thrown into a room that your guest won’t enter I.E your bedroom!
2.STORAGE BOXES ARE YOUR FRIEND. Having a mess in a box is so much tidier than a mess in the room. You can get away with throwing allsorts of random objects into these and if they have a lid, even better. If you think they still look a bit messy, throw a blanket or cushion on the top.
3.SPOT CLEANING. You don’t have time to polish and hoover (and chances are you won’t need to because your cleaner will have done all this already) but pick up any obvious things from the carpet – string, bits of lint, crumbs of food – and use a microfibre cloth just to pick up and settled dust.
4.LET IN THE LIGHT. Pull up all the blinds, throw open the windows and let the light and the fresh air stream through and help you achieve the fake clean look.
5.STRAIGHTEN UP. Put the rug back in its place, prop up the throw pillows, straighten the lampshade… you know what needs adjusting!
6.DISH DISGUISING. If you’ve got a dreaded pile up of dishes in the kitchen, bung them all in the dishwasher quickly (and don’t waste time arranging them perfectly- we’re on a tight schedule here!) If you don’t have a dishwasher, fill your sink with soap hot water and answer the door in your marigolds – better to look like you’ve just started them!
7.LIGHT A CANDLE. Candles, especially scented candles, are great at giving the illusion of a spotless home and the smell will cover up any tell-tale signs!

These quick tricks should help you cope better with the dreaded last minute visitor – and if you have good friends, they won’t comment on that ketchup streak down your fridge anyway!